February 25, 2004: Too Bad, So Sad (Again)

Age 23

This was an incredibly sad dream.

In this dream, I was walking around a mall or large casino with TB, JC, and friends waiting for KQ to join us. I had my cell phone and was waiting for KQ to call. A long time passed and I was getting worried I had missed the call, so I decided to leave the group to hang out somewhere where I had better reception. I walked into the small foyer of an emergency fire escape where I saw an older version of B. Bonn. We talked for a short while, and BB implied it might be nice if we had ever dated each other.

Then, my phone rang, but I couldn't hear anything on the other end of the line, but I knew it was KQ calling. I hightailed it out of there running around to different places which might have better reception. I tried calling back several times but KQ never picked up. I ran outside the main entrance to the complex and it was dark and wet as if it had been raining earlier.

Then I passed someone (Maybe Marion?) who said that KQ was in a public restroom down the way. I ran along the outside of complex to a door of a public restroom. The inside was large and was structured like a McDonald's. In fact it seemed to actually be some kind of restaurant as everyone was standing in a snaking line waiting for a counter. I saw KQ and waved, but KQ looked lividly pissed at me, demanding "Where were you?! I tried to call but you never picked up!". My explanation that my phone had bad reception didn't seem to go over well. KQ got out of line, and then someone else walked over, a guy slightly older with spiked blonde hair to put his arms around KQ's shoulder, as if to protect KQ from me. KQ announced this was a new boyfriend and looked at me, almost waiting for a reaction.

I was crushed. I walked out of the 'restroom' with KQ and the new boyfriend tagging behind me, in each others arms. I felt like I was about to cry as I met back up with friends, and TB seemed to notice something was very amiss with me. We went somehow into an apartment with a magnificent window view of some mountains, but it was dark outside across the mountain faces and a big plasma TV was in front of the windows was on, showcasing Angelina Jolie. I sat down Indian-style in front of the TV trying not to look at KQ as the sight was too distressing. Angelina was wearing what appeared to be Gucci sunglasses and a lampshade with fuzzy little balls hanging from the rim, showcasing a gay video music awards or something of that nature. I remember thinking how weird it was to see Angelina doing that.

Then, without any particular cause, I had to escape that room and the presence of KQ with someone else. I stood up and turned to leave. As I opened the door, I dreamed I woke up. I sat up in my bed and began to stand up with a loud whisper ran through my room: a woman's voice pleading, "I need your help, Sean McElroy." Then I really woke up, throughly creeped out and immensely sad.